I want your eyes open and bright, not red-rimmed and disguised with a loopy smile. Not a body slumped on a couch and an arm draped heavy across my shoulders. Not a kiss you won’t remember, still wet on my lips.
It was a ticket meeting that night, and my ticket got pulled. I had the choice to pass, but I didn’t. I have no idea what I said, but I talked.
Alcohol is like your treat for #adulting and actually leaving the house, your reason to suffer through that company Christmas party or awkward family reunion, and the sweet, sweet light at the end of every unwelcome social interaction. So without booze to motivate me, why go?
Sometimes maintaining sobriety requires my utmost attention and diligence. Parts of me want to abandon this second (or third, or fourth, I lost count) chance, and it’s my duty to keep on walking the tightrope, to address the dope-pangs and dismiss them.
In this case as opposed to past break ups, I was sober through the entire thing. I no longer had the option to pick up some wine to escape the stabbing feelings I felt in my chest.
Today, I’d like to present some more covers, though these are geared specifically towards driving fear into the souls of homebodies and introverts.
After waking with an intense hangover, I made a personal bet: quit alcohol for 30 days. I have chosen not to drink since. Maybe I’ll drink again one day at the moment an alcohol-free life works for me: I’m 20 pounds lighter, feel terrific, have quality relationships and purpose. And a lot of free time.
I do occasionally have to justify my “No, thanks, I’m good”s and “Just water, please”s with surprising persistence. Working against me is the fact that I’m neither religiously prohibited from drinking nor a former alcoholic.
So it’s officially been two months since I’ve had a drink.
“If you drink again, you’ll die.” Of course, I didn’t really believe my doctor when I heard those words. I’m in my twenties, everyone feels like they’re dying after a hard night, right? He showed me my tox report, my liver count, my pancreas in danger of exploding…