You actually think Kim and Kanye have a decent shot at making it. You’re also totally available for babysitting, if they should ever hit you up for it.
Guys like to throw the term “friend zone” around way too liberally. Just because you had a conversation with a girl and you guys like the same movies doesn’t mean she should have sex with you.
I have a rocky history, which can almost completely be attributed to drinking. I’ve come a very long way and am currently living wonderfully on a sober path.
You’ve become the official driver of the church van.
I was simply waiting for the right time, until someone beat me to it.
Danish teacher here. A 1st grader came up to me, looked my straight in my eyes and said nothing for ten seconds. Then she spoke, telling me how she wished the “blood red pigeons from the lake would come to take her away.”
You may have kissed dating goodbye, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t make out with someone you met at camp. It’s ok, we all did it.
4. Thank me if I saved you some money.
People sometimes take your sensitivity for weakness, but in fact it fuels your rich perspective on life.
I may not be elderly in years yet, but I’m fairly certain I’ve been an undercover old person for several years.