Become convinced you know like, everything about the US government and spy agencies. Talk to others like you’re actually in the CIA yourself. Feel like you know national security secrets just from how realistic the show seems.

The crux of the problem with cable is how much you’re paying for nothing. Think about the channels you watch and how many you have and what you pay. Vomit a little, and then cancel that subscription right now. Use that money for better internet.