Eating disorders really are the last effort we take to continue keeping it all inside.
A combination of growing older and being pushed outside of my high school forced me to mature and question my internal racism.
“I masturbated to a video of my parents having sex.”
I always thought online mobs were scary and dangerous. But this new normal seems just as scary.
“My boss showed the entire staff that he has 5 nipples at the company Christmas party one year. He even let one girl touch the 5th one.”
People are quick to judge and slow to listen. And that’s totally fine. That doesn’t necessarily make them the bad person and I’m the victim—it just happens to be a common tendency.
I understand the story differently now. “The woman, she made me do it,” he explained. Here it was: The First Betrayal; The first Deferring Of Responsibility; The first Casting Of Shame.
Children with too much shame grow up to be adults who can no longer sense their inner experiences. They learn not to feel, and they lose the ability to use their emotions as a compass for living.
She felt the need to tell me my body, this body that I’ve fought so hard to love, was offensive to her.
“They say shame controls every aspect of human behavior. It’s about who we believe we are. But in the end, you cant hide and the body doesn’t lie. The truth is right for the world to see. Our shame can choke us, kill us. It can rot us from the inside, if we decide to let it.” – Meredith Grey