People are quick to judge and slow to listen. And that’s totally fine. That doesn’t necessarily make them the bad person and I’m the victim—it just happens to be a common tendency.
I understand the story differently now. “The woman, she made me do it,” he explained. Here it was: The First Betrayal; The first Deferring Of Responsibility; The first Casting Of Shame.
Children with too much shame grow up to be adults who can no longer sense their inner experiences. They learn not to feel, and they lose the ability to use their emotions as a compass for living.
She felt the need to tell me my body, this body that I’ve fought so hard to love, was offensive to her.
“They say shame controls every aspect of human behavior. It’s about who we believe we are. But in the end, you cant hide and the body doesn’t lie. The truth is right for the world to see. Our shame can choke us, kill us. It can rot us from the inside, if we decide to let it.” – Meredith Grey
“She screamed, ‘You’re SICK!’, then slammed the door.”
“I smile all the time so that nobody knows how sad and lonely I really am.”
Watery eyes, raised voices and shaky hands are not dismissive: they are powerful.
Everything in life has a purpose and everything that happens teaches us a lesson, right? By the time we reach our mid-20s we’ve learned about 98% of these lessons and there will only be dozens more each year. Maybe the lesson was different for you, but the moment is the same for us all.
If there’s anything I wish we all understood a little more fully, it’s this: We are never, ever, ever alone.