This letter is to all of you lurking eyes emoji using, “wyd” asking, hey yous, sending unsolicited dick pics, sliding into DMs like its your job men of today’s society. How about using your words to formulate a proper greeting, instead of emojis, pictures acronyms or ebonics?

The ‘What’s Up’ Dude: He asks you this question often and in a variety of ways. What’s up? Wassup? What’s going on? How’s things? He doesn’t not know how to have an actual conversation. He checks in fairly regularly. Sometimes these messages arrive at booty call times. Sometimes they arrive when you are procrastinating at work and you reply. “Nm. U?” He says “Same,” then nothing else until the next “What’s up?”

Taking a sexual Snapchat isn’t easy. This isn’t taking a picture of snow or a cappuccino or a drunken duck face selfie. This is capturing your freak flag. Like boom, there it is.

How To Sext

There’s no stronger relationship than one where the spark is alive and well. In modern relationships, we’re given the perfect tool for maintaining this heat: sexting.