My eating disorder was something else…boy, was it something else. It was my best friend, my confidant, my security, and (well) my life.
So, walk away. Own the fact that you have options. Because you do. There are like 107 million single people in the United States. A little under half of those singles are men.
Why do you feel worse breaking commitments to others than you do breaking commitments to yourself? Why do you shudder to think of disappointing another but happily continue to disappoint yourself?
“I have to keep them around because I’ll never find anyone else.”
“I don’t know.” Three words that sounded more like “I don’t know if you’re good enough anymore.” That sounded more like “I’ll keep you until there’s someone better.”
I didn’t realize at the time the impact it had on others when I quit. I learned leadership is not a title or a salary. Pushing your opinions down someone’s throat is not leading them.
Now here’s the secret, it’s not about losing weight. That’s the hat. Everyone can wear a hat. I bet you’ve done it. The trick is keeping it off; that’s the rabbit.
I won’t ever look in the mirror and see myself as a supermodel, but I can look in the mirror and say that my hair looks good today, or that I really like the way my new pants fit me.
You will have moments, sometimes within seconds of each other, in which you feel proud of yourself and disgusted with yourself at the same time.
You’re complicated. And that’s okay. My journey with anorexia and the depression it came with has taught me that sadness is as legitimate an emotion as happiness.