Best of friends, and that’s it. Maybe that’s what’s destined for us after all.
Now I’m left with so little it hurts.
Know that you will feel the same pain every night if you still choose to be alone and if you don’t help yourself to move on.
I went back to that usual place we hung out during Friday nights. Most of our friends were there, except for you. When I was about to walk out of the place, I saw her.
When she becomes unrecognizable from the mom you used to know, love her. Tell her it over and over again. I love you. I love you. Never let her go a precious day without hearing it.
Each page of this journal speaks truths that ache as I reread them. Truths that take my breath away with their honesty and clarity, with their perfect descriptions of what it means to be in love.
For the hundredth time, I got in my car and drove away.
But now I don’t think you meant it on the hundredth time.
But letting go of you
was like nothing else.
It was like watching a balloon
float into the sky and knowing
you’ll never get it back.
You left the earth without your daughter; I was not there to see you off, I did not get to say goodbye.
But I will, when I’m weak, pray if I can, pray for you, pray for humility and guidance and the strength to accept God’s will and plan. Tell him my dreams but recognize his authority and superior planning skills.