4. This is a new dressing called “Sex Life of Average American Married Couple.”
It was the first thing he asked me in the interview: “You can get salad, right?”
Today, I have to pinch myself.
I was putting my son to bed when he was about 5, and after the bedtime story, right when I was tucking him in and turning out the light, he said “Nipples. I love ’em. What about you?” with this totally serious expression.
1. People who claim they are physical trainers, when they obviously aren’t Sorry man, but please don’t tell me that you workout every day, that you are on a strict regiment and that you just got done with a total…
Most of the time, I just want to stuff my face with fried or sugary foods — foods that I used to compulsively deny myself because they would (naturally) go straight to my thighs.
In New York, you’re considered wealthy if you have a dishwasher in your apartment. In L.A., you’re rich if you live in a mansion.
Grab some strawberries and kiwi and grapefruit and raspberries and make a delicious, quirky fruit salad. Enjoy the bursting juices on your tongue.
If humanity had a family crest, do you know what would be on it? Pizza.
I recommend taking your bowl and gently putting your face in it. If the bowl is too small to accept your face you will need to upgrade.