Thought Catalog

Sadness

I had good days without you. I’ve been successful at work, happy in my home, and I am running again. The sunrises are beautiful again. I don’t wake up crying anymore, and though this feels so selfish and terrible to admit, I have been happy since the loss of you. I thought I was healing.

Remember that someone smiles just knowing that you’re here. You make someone’s day better, you make them look forward to something and you make them fight through hard days. Someone’s world is better because you’re in it.

Try telling me I am not my disease on a day I’d walk through fire just to feel anything, or on a day I imagine what it would be like to sit at the bottom of the ocean and be drowned in its silence.