Remind yourself that Churchill lead a country while battling depression.
Depression doesn’t just come and go, it breathes you in.
The gravity of your situation didn’t sink in and your attitude didn’t help me come to terms with it either. You simply took it like you were diagnosed with the flu.
When depression and anxiety double team you, you spiral, completely out of control. Anxiety says horrible things and depression validates them. You want to hide, but you can’t. You want to run away, but you don’t.
Your loss has made me more compassionate. It has made me stronger. It is a quiet strength.
“She will put on a show that tells you that she is spontaneous and fun loving. She will read you poetry by candlelight as you lie together naked. She will laugh and her laughter will sound like music. She will feel mysterious, an old soul you’ve been blessed to finally encounter. She will seem wise.”
But when I’m lonely and use the power of loneliness, often the best things happen to me. I can’t ever forget that. Even the times of worst loneliness.
It’s okay to miss them and wonder if they’re sleeping peacefully right now or if they’re thinking about you, too.
You’re tired of pretending you’re okay. You’re tired of saying there is nothing wrong with you when there is, you’re tired of having to lie to people about what’s going on and you’re tired of pretending to be strong and smiling when all you want to do is cry. You wish you could just let everyone know what’s wrong with you so they can leave you alone but you know that’s not possible.
The parts of me that belonged to you
are now strewn across this city we once loved.