Thought Catalog

Ryan O’Connell

A few weeks ago, I participated in my FIRST EVER comedy show at Housing Works Bookstore. The theme was Love, Sex And The Internet: OKCupid and while I had never been on an OKCupid date before, I have had a traumatizing experience with an online matchmaking website.

You can’t survive in the modern world without some basic texting comprehension skills. In fact, they should really start offering it as a major at some liberal arts college. At the very least, you could take what you’ve learned and just make videos like the one I did below.

Look, I’ll be real with you: I have no idea what straight sex is like. The closest I’ve ever gotten to a vagina is my mom’s and that was 25 years ago. I imagine it to be a lot of unflattering facial expressions though. I mean, am I wrong? Tell me!

I talk a lot about Facebook. I know honey but can you blame me? People spend more time with/on Facebook than they do with most of their friends. It has singlehandedly shaped the social lives of my peers. It’s the Charlie to all of our angels.