The word “love” is more often than not, associated with diamond rings, dreamy kisses, and Cupid’s notorious bow shooting around a myriad of fiery arrows. We see it on TV, we read about it in books—when two worlds collide and romantic feelings spring forth—and dub such as what “love” looks like.

You can’t just point out some random person and look to them to make you happy. You need a spark. You need that silly grin plastered across your face whenever you think of their name or how you met. You need that rush comes whenever your phone pings and it’s them. You need to date someone who isn’t an afterthought.