Maybe if you stayed true to your words, I would say you were worthy…but you are not.
A relationship in a strange place makes you want to stay. It doesn’t give you the room to say goodbye. Because goodbye hurts. It empties you and wants you to stay.
Upon the initial download of the apps, I won’t lie, I felt like a kid in a candy store.
Date someone who holds your hand in public, introduces you as his girlfriend, changes his relationship status, and posts silly couple pictures on his profiles.
I still wonder how your day goes. I think about all those times when we would wake up next to each other with our bodies intertwined, when not even a ray of light could pass through us because we were so close together. You weren’t a morning person, but your face just lit up when I roused you with a kiss and a cup of coffee.
How could anyone say how wonderful you are all the while acknowledging that they don’t want to be with you anymore? It was bullshit to me. Maybe it still is, only now I’m the bullshitter.
I want to thank you for showing me what love isn’t. And in that long process, I found the only love that I will ever need – the love for myself.
Despite the popular opinion that dependence in a relationship is a bad thing, there are studies that have shown the opposite.