You have to forgive yourself. You have to face that shame you feel when you look back on that relationship and think “how did I let that happen to me?” and tell yourself that you are every bit as strong and wonderful as you were before him, or her. What happened to you is not your fault and you didn’t deserve it.

We sometimes let our ego lead our lives until it somehow destroys it. There’s a big difference between confidence and ego. Confidence is healthy, ego is destructive. There’s a famous expression: ‘Too much ego will kill your talent,’ but it will not only kill your talent, it will kill you career, your relationships and your happiness. Too much ego can actually ruin your life.

Love is not that flutter in your heart or butterflies in your stomach. Love is not bumping into a stranger and looking into his eyes. Love is not candlelit dinners and exotic vacations. Love is not the best sex you’ve ever had. Love is not just hugs and kisses. Love is not the crap that rom-coms feed you. Love is not summed up in a single shot of Cupid’s arrow.

I didn’t go Nantucket searching for the love of my life. I didn’t go looking for a boyfriend or a man to fill some empty void. I went because I like to take chances, I like to put myself out there despite the disappointments that I can never seem to escape from. I went because I’m a freaking hopeless romantic. Sue me.