The trains kept passing and the tides kept flowing and you never came.
I want to live with you, so we won’t feel the need to fill every moment with adventure to make sure we don’t waste what little time we have. So we can just lounge around and read on opposite ends of the couch without saying a word. So we can spend the entire day in bed, alternating between snoring and screwing.
I don’t want someone to come into my life and try to fix the broken pieces of me. I don’t want someone to come and shower me in compliments hoping to lift my self-esteem.
This is how I became happy without you. I kept on living. I kept on breathing shallow breaths until they weren’t so forced anymore. I kept on taking baby steps until they became long strides again.
The problem with putting people on a pedestal is that we sometimes take ourselves off it.
You’re the type of person who would buy your partner soup and sing them silly little lullabies when they’re sick. You’re the type of person who would sit side-by-side with them on the couch, reading a book while they watched their favorite TV show. Doesn’t that make you a total catch?
Imagine you’re in a heated argument with someone sexy, and then they suddenly push you up against the wall and slide a hand up your skirt.
“I was blowing my boyfriend and I really don’t know how this happened, but when he came his semen came straight out of my nose.”
Funny thing is –
All I write about is you
and it’s always navy blue and fogged up.
Your laughter still hums to me in the
background as I type away.
The saddest thing I discovered through all of this is that I was wrong. Just like Tom in 500 Days of Summer, I had missed one key thing that made all the difference.