It’s sad that what I miss, all that we had, is based mostly off of late night texts and waiting up for one another to come over.
In the end I know that your feelings will soon change, you will meet someone who will make you feel the way you love to.
You can’t make things work if you don’t feel like it. You can’t make yourself fall in love with him again because you feel bad for him and everything you will lose.
There have been times where you have seen me touch places in my brain that I cannot come back from. Dark places that try their damnedest to swallow me whole. But there you are. A light in the dark that helps keep me focused.
It can feel weird, to suddenly realize that you feel a physical ache within your body when you’re not around them. Or it can feel natural, like this is the sort of incredible discomfort that you’ve been waiting to feel your entire life.
Then, it dawned on me. It was my turn to have a light bulb moment: free will. Being single is a choice!
I wish I had met you five years from now.
Because maybe then
I’d be writing love poetry
instead of words that are embedded
with your goodbye.
And maybe then
the world would actually give us a shot.
I am doing just fine (which you might not believe if you count the number of times I used the word “jealous” in this article alone); but I am. Yes, I admit to feeling pinpricks of jealousy from time to time. But I don’t wallow in those lapses of self-pity.
When an only child trusts you, that’s when they love you.
The truth is, I just wish you well. Always. I wish you steadiness when it’s hard to stay grounded. I wish you patience and passion. I wish you peace in yourself. I wish you love.