Yes, it’s frustrating. You bend. You’re considerate. You overextend, make excuses, give them space, support them, and give in. You don’t expect too much, but nothing changes. It’s infuriating, and the happy relationship you hoped for feels miserable and, sometimes, even hopeless.
You will meet a girl. You’ll go on a date, and you will be able to tell within fifteen minutes exactly how much you like her.
Perception is temporary and strange. What did I even do for dinner before I was with her? With certain people, this weird sense of loss stretches to encompass not only how they behave but their entire identity.
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Then I freaked out. I remembered that, unlike Thanksgiving, unlike New Years, Easter is a religious holiday. I thought, “I can’t go to church.” I expressed this to my roommate as we were sharing wine. He said, “It’s an hour of your life, it’s an experience, won’t you just write about it?” And I said, “Yes, I will, you’re right.” But it was a lie, I couldn’t go, I would cancel on my parents the next day.