“Xanax?! Ha! We’re all on Xanax, who cares?!” shouts all the Housewives’ inner dialogue. VICKI, LYDIA, and ALEXIS take off, and TAMRA and her posse “BLESS THIS FUCKING BUILDING.”
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar has a lot of wisdom to impart. However, not all of it adheres to logic or sense.
Lines have been drawn. The friends who the ladies choose to pre-game with will become the blood-sisters they will draw swords to protect. One clan is led by the New God called “Jesus.”
Instead of facing the music, TAMRA rushes from the dinner table to have a solo cry and be consoled by the “Jewish Marry Poppins.” HEATHER’s purse did always seem to be holding an endless supply of items, but, in a Jewish kind of way.
“Women of a certain age and with a specific point of view, to watch them be vivacious and glamorous and sexual, is important and revolutionary.”
I support marriage equality, but my support deserves more explanation than a simple photograph can explain, and I saw a number of fights break out on Facebook as people struggled to articulate their mixed emotions on marriage to friends and family.
Sometimes I’m so entertained by The Real Housewivess that I like to pretend somebody actually scripted the entire show. This is what the treatment for last night’s episode would look like:
All of us want, covet and desire. We want to be recognized. We covet material goods. We desire affection. “Like, favorite, share, upvote, etc.”
I’m not sayin’ I’m a gold digger… but I probably could be. Everybody has their limits, though — even those girls on Millionaire Matchmaker (read: the Jason “Gummi Bear” Davis episode). Here are five Rich Dudes that are absolutely, definitely NOT on my list of theoretical Rich Baby Daddys.
If you really like the person you’re hooking up with and would really like them to be your boyfriend/ girlfriend, find a way to tell them, and hope for the best. If you don’t and wouldn’t, stop.