People who’ve never tried Flying Biscuit or Gladys Knight’s Chicken and Waffles have never truly lived.
Although one group may be animated, and the other may be human, Disney villains and the Real Housewives have a lot in common: they both love causing drama; always want to be the center of attention; and have faces that were not meant for existence in the natural world.
We begin where every great story should start: brunch.
“Xanax?! Ha! We’re all on Xanax, who cares?!” shouts all the Housewives’ inner dialogue. VICKI, LYDIA, and ALEXIS take off, and TAMRA and her posse “BLESS THIS FUCKING BUILDING.”
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar has a lot of wisdom to impart. However, not all of it adheres to logic or sense.
Lines have been drawn. The friends who the ladies choose to pre-game with will become the blood-sisters they will draw swords to protect. One clan is led by the New God called “Jesus.”
Instead of facing the music, TAMRA rushes from the dinner table to have a solo cry and be consoled by the “Jewish Marry Poppins.” HEATHER’s purse did always seem to be holding an endless supply of items, but, in a Jewish kind of way.
“Women of a certain age and with a specific point of view, to watch them be vivacious and glamorous and sexual, is important and revolutionary.”
I support marriage equality, but my support deserves more explanation than a simple photograph can explain, and I saw a number of fights break out on Facebook as people struggled to articulate their mixed emotions on marriage to friends and family.