“Honey, we need to clean the ceiling fan when we’re done.”
The company president’s signature is reproduced at the bottom of this longish ivory-colored certificate. The text (Lucida Calligraphy, 12-point in tan) alludes to “loyalty, dedication and contributions” but fails to mention any specific event or achievements. A psychedelic-looking clock is printed in the background.
How many shirts will I try on before settling on one of the same three shirts I always wear out?
32 likes on Instagram.
I have devised a series of daydreams (if I had a super power, it would be daydreaming) that help to motivate me while I barely manage to do three ‘reps’ of bicep curls with two twenty pound weights.
If someone does this to me, I swear to GOD I will cry.
8. This loofah is purple. I like purple. I’m single.
There are 35-50 active serial killers in the United States at any given moment.
“6. I don’t want to say crossed eyes, but have you seen Kristen Bells eyes? Well whatever her eyes are considered…”
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