What if you’re Tom Cruise? What if nothing is funny? What if I’m just being paid by John Travolta?
There are many questions I never know how to answer with my voice.
When can I start drinking again?
Can bugs die from really loud noises?
Chances are, if you are walking slowly in Manhattan, you are a tourist.
Oh dear Lord, how am I going to tell this beautiful girl that I wanted to be a pirate until I was about 12.
College is awesome. Except that, during the first week of class, you’re going to have a bunch of really annoying people asking a bunch of really annoying questions that waste everyone’s time.
12. People can see you when you cry on the phone to your dad after your first few days. Even in the back hallway.
9. “Why do you pepper spray me so often?”
Idk, why do you keep telling me to smile?
“When you look at me a bunch of times but never when I look back, what does that mean exactly?”