If Adam and Eve really were the first humans, Eve has done womankind a serious disservice.
7. You inhabit a limbo where days blur into one another.
“I don’t want a goddamn tortilla-wrapped egg.”
It’s comforting to know that people don’t take kindly to bullies.
So when you’ve been out in the frosty air all day long and the chilling winter temperatures cut to your core, refer to this list of the best hot foods to quiet your icicle-laden tummy.
I woke up on the couch at 8:30AM, the debris from our candy-bar massacre spilled out across the coffee table.
Did you guys know this? Little Caesar’s of all places!
“Died waiting for pizza”—that’s what they’ll put on my tombstone. Great.
Pizza is like ice cream—if you don’t like it, you’re probably a murderer.
I can’t say, I honestly love all types of pizza. Except Hawaiian. And mushrooms.