Yet, tonight, as my time in the city comes to a close, I didn’t feel jealousy. I sort of felt nothing.
8. The Back Home Bestie
You’ve gone from drinking different things every time to you go out to having “your drink” and rarely deviating.
When we’re drunk, though, when our cheeks are flushed with rosé, something changes.
At any given moment in the year and a half that I used, I always carried at least a gram or two with me, plus a bowl – literally a kitchen bowl full of blow – hidden in my bedroom.
Instagramming blurry photos of your friends that no one can decipher, captioned with inside jokes that make no sense.
Sometimes one of the bravest things you can do is go to a party alone. That, and playing dead around a bear. It’s a toss-up.
I’m a large advocate that age ain’t nothing but a number and Stella should be able to get her groove back whenever she pleases.
“It’s okay, I’m a MILF, I can do whatever I want.”
As you foray into the dark and treacherous terrain of college frat parties, whether down the memory lane or as a first-time explorer, here are some particularly dangerous beasts to look out for: