Abusing a substance destructively is like riding on a roller coaster without wearing a seat belt. We crave the danger because we want to see how close we can come to death.
You’re fine, you tell yourself, and miraculously you are, by some stroke of luck you find it in you to keep dancing and smiling and flip your hair when he looks and pat it back down when he doesn’t.
2. Acoustic Guitars
It was Halloween so everyone was in costume. This one dude was dressed as jack sparrow. Cops come in and the guy, who was super hammered at this point stands right next to an open window and says “you’ll always remember this as the day you almost caught jack sparrow,” proceeds to jump out the second story window and break his leg.
3. The paper is thin and soft.
After careful deliberation and excessive amounts of self-doubt, you have been invited to attend the Pants Party. Count yourself lucky, as this is a newly inspired event, stemming from the great red carpet viewing of “American Pie: Naked Mile” much time ago.
Everyone could use a little more Stevie Wonder in their day.
We’ve all been there.
Why is everyone upside down?
1. I will always be your Blair Waldorf.