You’re fine, you tell yourself, and miraculously you are, by some stroke of luck you find it in you to keep dancing and smiling and flip your hair when he looks and pat it back down when he doesn’t.

After careful deliberation and excessive amounts of self-doubt, you have been invited to attend the Pants Party. Count yourself lucky, as this is a newly inspired event, stemming from the great red carpet viewing of “American Pie: Naked Mile” much time ago.