After careful deliberation and excessive amounts of self-doubt, you have been invited to attend the Pants Party. Count yourself lucky, as this is a newly inspired event, stemming from the great red carpet viewing of “American Pie: Naked Mile” much time ago.
Everyone could use a little more Stevie Wonder in their day.
We’ve all been there.
Why is everyone upside down?
1. I will always be your Blair Waldorf.
I tested the residue of one of the capsules we had leftover. When I got those results, a knot settled into the pit of my stomach. “What have I done?” I asked myself.
No one knows more about partying than the legendary Andrew W.K. and, lucky for us, he shares his innermost party secrets with us every day on Twitter.
You own eight pairs of loafers and you can’t remember purchasing one of them. You go into your closet to get dressed and you come out, every time, looking like Mason Disick.
2. You try to fit the homonormative gay ideal.
You catch yourself giving sage, almost weary advice to girls who are no more than two years younger than you. (You punctuate this advice with, “You’re so young.”)