Take a drink: When someone says the word “problematic.” A person just happens to leave an important book lying out on their desk where everyone can see it.
On first dates, you usually say something neutral but deeply insecure, like, “Yeah, all of my friends work at startups,” or “Remember Duke Nukem? Great game. Never played it, but great game.”
Regular sexual intercourse two or three times a week, usually Thursday nights after The Office and on the weekend; Saturday date night dinner at ethnic fusion restaurant whose assimilation of Southeast-Asian or Latin flavors one earnestly abridges with “wow.”
I live way out in the suburbs, perhaps not in my mother’s basement, but she is very close by. My favorite shirt is from the Hard Rock Cafe. I’m desperately afraid to try new things, in life, at work, and in bed.
She will tell you that raising a baby as a vegetarian is child abuse in the same breath as confessing she used to lock her own children in the closet.
You got your ears pierced at the Icing and shoplifted training bras from Limited Too. Your older sister Misty (or Krystal) had a long-term boyfriend who picked you up from school in a van. He once touched your boob at a Mighty Mighty Bosstones concert.