6. If you post an OOTD (outfit of the day) every day of the week, I’m done with you.
I had hope that maybe things could get better in the next 6 months. For the first time in months, I felt hopeful about the future. I felt hopeful that there would even be a future.
Your favorite unit of measurement isn’t small, medium, or large; it’s Bellgrande.
1. You will lose weight.
That one stupid thing you said two years ago that has somehow become your favorite subject with which to torture yourself while trying to fall asleep. No one remembers it but you, no one cares, and you’re wasting your time over an imaginary problem.
In pre-production, ‘American Pie’ was called ‘Teenage Sex Comedy That Can Be Made For Under $10 Million That Your Reader Will Love But The Executive Will Hate.’
You spend several hours extra getting ready — possibly even buying new clothes — when you know that there is a chance you might see them tonight.
Your uncle reacted very uncomfortably to your insistence that you two duet “Afternoon Delight” at the family holiday party.
How often do I stalk you on Facebook? Ehh, often. I would pretend here that I’m not constantly clicking over to see what you’re up to and gauge the attractiveness of the various people you’ve been banging who cruelly aren’t me, but that’s what I like doing in my spare time.