Checking your Snapchat story for evidence of just how terrible you were.
The only designer you know is Forever 21.
When a woman tells you no, that is the end of the conversation. It does not continue. You don’t find a loophole or think it just means you’ve got to try a little harder.
Red wine: You’re incredibly sensual. Like, you probably listen to Prince all day long in preparation for a date.
As it usually happens in my relationships, I committed to you long before you committed to me. I packed up and moved my whole life to be with you. All my friends warned me against it, and against you. You have a reputation, you see: you lure people in with your bright lights and attractions.
“I’ve been thinking about you lately.”
CHAMPAGNE: You wake up with fully done make-up when The Bachelor “surprises” everyone in the early morning.
LA is the perfect last-minute getaway because there’s so much to do there and tons of completely free entertainment, and you don’t need to book in advance. I’ve zipped up there many times, and I’ve always booked everything less than 10 days prior with no issues.
The Instigator: She’s the reason everyone is out drinking in the first place. She’s usually the one who handles her liquor the best (from practice) and she’s often found urging everyone to have just one (four) more drink(s).
On a moral level, you hate what you’re hearing. But…