When the sun has yet to rise and I wonder if I missed you.
After all, you were it. You were my first love, the one who showed me what it meant to feel safe.
I was a flawed human in love with another just as messy.
I coughed up a lung one night, he stuffed it back down. Hushed me softly, so I stayed silent.
She’s the love of my life, you say. I’ve never been happier or felt more complete than the times when we were together. But better is not what you deserve. Someone who appreciates you and the infinite adoration that outpours from your big heart—this is what you deserve.
I had finally met someone who was good for me and it scared me half to death.
I have a voice. I am independent, beautiful, accomplished, and brave. I treat myself with the love and respect you stopped giving me. All the things I couldn’t dream of doing without you, I did, and I’m only getting started. Since you’ve been gone, I’ve lost so much, but I’ve gained even more.
The rebound guy, that’s what I thought you were, but here we still are, four months after I decided you would just be a rebound. You are the rebound that I cannot shake myself from.
It wasn’t “like”, it wasn’t “lust”, it was that all consuming, I-love-your flaws, I-love-your-soul, I-love-your-morning-breath kind of love that you never completely recover from.
You move on not because you want to, but because you have to. You can’t live every single day being miserable, dwelling on what ifs and taking the blame for yourself. No break-up is ever easy.