You don’t want your moral food standards to be trivialized by the masses, and by this point having Pinterest boards with names like The Simple Veganista or Raw Food is practically as obligatory as having a board for your future wedding. You are more unique, so make sure your eating habits are too.

Stealing is mainstay of the American identity, and I still shoplift to this day. Mostly for the nostalgia aspect, but also because I believe that it’s our responsibility as individuals to actively participate in and perpetuate our culture as Americans.