“I ate eight full meals, half a sheet of brownies, pie, dates, and then asked my wife to pick me up a soda.”
There were many times we became Ross and Rachel and took many breaks. But I couldn’t stay away, I found myself running back every chance I could.
“A guy shoving hard boiled eggs up his rectum.”
The last man I dated was the living embodiment of a Sonic Drive-in: He was lazy, nostalgic, had a thing for women wearing roller skates, and would put deep fried pie in everything if given the chance.
The thing about “secret” menus at restaurants is that they are completely unofficial, which means that the folks there are not trained on how to make them.
Who would have thought it would be McDonalds that would strike the final blow in the “war on Christmas.”
“When I got home I took a shower, got in bed, and wished it never happened.”
Alcohol broke me. It took me from being the proud person I once was to being to a sleazy asshole.
“I don’t think it was her first time. It was too professional. Too clean. It was the perfect McHeist.”
Can we get some cheese please?? Or at least give that one solitary tomato some kind of company in there.