See, once I know that my guy friend has the hots for me, the times of us kickin’ it old school are no more. Our once-pure friendship, based off of a mutual search for the meaning of life and a good ass time, has mutated into “potential conquest” and I see that as the point of no return.
1. Love all, trust few, paddle your own canoe.
A girl wants to change a man. A woman accepts a man as he is.
3. Because I have a type and you are not it.
5. Merely glancing at a tax form is enough to revert you back to infant-level maturity.
When my father and grandfather both approached me for help in family affairs.
More often than concert tickets or videogames, you enthusiastically purchase boring, cliché adult stuff like a toaster or a shower rod or Tums or light bulbs.
1. Saying “no” when it’s necessary.
In my room I have a Christmas Story novelty leg lamp resting on my plastic nightstand, which is why nobody is coming to me with their questions about diversifying bonds, financing a home and having a 401Ks.
Say “no” to everything. People who are mature are also very hard to get ahold of. Being a grown up is a full-time job and you don’t have the time to just hang out with your friends on a Sunday afternoon and have the time of your life. You’re busy being busy.