When he is not afraid to tell his friends he is not going out with them tonight, he is going out with his favorite gal. And by going out I mean staying at home for Netflix and Chill.
When he does and suggests you dial back the “Relationship” to a “relationship” with a lower case “r”, you’ll turn into Your Own Worst Nightmare. I flipped my hair around so much I think I pulled a muscle in my arm.
That nosy motherf*cker who obsessively peeks at your treadmill speed. Hope you feel like a baller running at exactly .1mph faster than me, bro!
I won’t sit by my phone hoping you’ll text. Because I’ll go ahead and text you. Even when I say I’m not going to. Even when I say I don’t care and you’re just another dude who kissed me outside a bar.
“One bite, and you’ll know EXACTLY what I’m talking about!”
A onesie is kind of like a condom for the body to sleep in.
Anytime I overhear friends or radio announcers voice the athlete’s surname, my head and heart are bombarded with the savory delight that is Indian cuisine.
Hey, feeling less than heroic on Monday morning is a pretty good indicator you had a bragging-rights weekend packed with laughs, Instagram-worthy photos and enough calories to seriously reconsider some lifestyle choices.
We all need to stop dreaming, start facing reality, and realize: ‘You are not as unique as you think you are, you are not crazier than we all are and basically, we are all f*cking basic! And that is fine.’
hello i am barack lee.