“Be kind of a dick, but in a fun way.”
1. Mason jar salads
“There are plenty of fish in the sea.” No, baby. There are not PLENTY.
“I don’t want a goddamn tortilla-wrapped egg.”
Early 20s: SHOTS SHOT SHOTS SHA SHA SHA SHOT SHOTS SHOTS EVERYBODDDDDDY SH—
Late 20s: ….Shots?
“Where are my keys?”
1. The not-nightclub-nightclub, complete with one strobe light and DEEEJAAAAAYY NOOOONAAAMMMEEE *siren noise* *siren noise* *siren noise* You were convinced to go here by some guy passing out sad neon flyers and you knew it was a bad idea as…
No one wants to hear “kay” or see a “K.” as a reply. No one.