His excuse at the end is the best part.
Perhaps the most extraordinary aspect of Trump’s presidency is the ubiquitous nature of his Twitter.
Why do men think they are entitled to nudes?
She gets really upset when I ask her to mop the floors that have her new puppy’s shit smeared all over. And I mean ALL OVER. Posts Facebook statuses like “I should really stop being so nice” when I address these problems politely.
This is really hilarious — but also kinda crazy.
Once, I was so drunk that I fell down while my shorts were around my ankles and peed myself. There. I said it.
“I used to be able to pull all-nighters but now I can barely pull all-dayers.”
The thing that keeps me up at night is that I did this. Willingly, I might add.
I never thought police could be this funny.
I think his neighbors FINALLY got the message.