That pile of damp towels.
The ones that you secretly screengrab and send to your friends to laugh at, but would never repost—because knowing about them/enjoying them is too embarrassing to own up to.
“Be kind of a dick, but in a fun way.”
1. Mason jar salads
“There are plenty of fish in the sea.” No, baby. There are not PLENTY.
“I don’t want a goddamn tortilla-wrapped egg.”
Early 20s: SHOTS SHOT SHOTS SHA SHA SHA SHOT SHOTS SHOTS EVERYBODDDDDDY SH—
Late 20s: ….Shots?
“Where are my keys?”