“What happened between the two of you? Why’d you break up?”
“Accidently sent a super dirty text to my high school basketball coach…”
I look to my left by my work station in the back, and there is this mountain of shit on the floor. Instantly I vomited on the floor beside me. I was in SHOCK! I never thought in a million years this could/would happen.
Rosé is the Boone’s of adult ladyhood. But now, instead of barfing it up in a fraternity party basement, you’ll barf it up in the comfort of your very own over-mortgaged home.
As a college student with those late nights of working on various essays, projects, and readings with a mix of procrastination and socializing with friends, I most definitely could use some caffeine in the morning.
Look at those faces of pure amazement! It’s a plane? It’s single payer health insurance? No, it’s a f*cking bird!!!
It’s our fault Lindsay Lohan got addicted to cocaine and Ben Affleck played Batman. We are the 99%, and we’ve got 99 problems — of which we are the entire 99.
There was something about doing it in “non-traditional” locations that seemed to really get my high school boyfriend’s gears turning. The shower? That was the Holy Grail.
When he tried to distract the City Council with a reggae band.
Every so often we might forget to update a number in our phone. That’s exactly how THIS happened!