Why can’t you just walk down the street in 2015 with a fat ass joint lit knowing that, even if it’s not necessarily LEGAL in your state, the police have better things to do?
And thinking about that—the fact that I’m older and my decisions (even if I need help being led to them) are starting to feel more and more permanent —makes me want to shit my pants.
That pile of damp towels.
The ones that you secretly screengrab and send to your friends to laugh at, but would never repost—because knowing about them/enjoying them is too embarrassing to own up to.
“Be kind of a dick, but in a fun way.”
1. Mason jar salads
“There are plenty of fish in the sea.” No, baby. There are not PLENTY.
“I don’t want a goddamn tortilla-wrapped egg.”