New title for video: How NOT to get a pigeon out of your house.
And you thought belly smacking into your backyard swimming pool was rough.
No real dinosaurs were harmed in the making of this movie.
But really, who comes up with this sh*t??
Your boss gives everyone the day off, runs shirtless through the sprinklers, gets fired, and you get promoted.
When she gave us new things to think about post-sex.
Break ups suck because A) the pain of losing someone is the worst and quite frankly B) the idea of having to start all over again is EXHAUSTING.
He tells me he likes my green eyes. We have sex in the back of his car. I’m on top. He sweats a lot.
You want someone to snuggle with at night. But the second they start humping your leg, you can kick them off the bed.
You’ve spent hours watching dance tutorials on YouTube trying to learn Beyoncé choreography. You still remember all the moves to “Single Ladies.”