With Valentine’s in full swing, the ‘date ideas’ posts are frolicking and plaguing your newsfeed like never before.
Not drinking alcohol: Admirable? Yes. Low key rude and judge-y to gloat about at the office after you’ve only been alcohol-free for less than 100 hours? Hard yes.
*water boils over, everything burns*
Hook up with someone who has a nice place What? Don’t act like you’ve never slept with someone because you were impressed with everything they had going on. It’s called desire, hon.
“This is not like sex with my high school boyfriend. Or college boyfriend. It’s actually kind of hot?”
“Wear a blanket constantly.”
There is nothing sexual in this for me. I need to make that clear.
What if you’re Tom Cruise? What if nothing is funny? What if I’m just being paid by John Travolta?
Why can’t you just walk down the street in 2015 with a fat ass joint lit knowing that, even if it’s not necessarily LEGAL in your state, the police have better things to do?
And thinking about that—the fact that I’m older and my decisions (even if I need help being led to them) are starting to feel more and more permanent —makes me want to shit my pants.