A parrot observing his surroundings.
We’re very green and everyone can tell, which might be my fault because I lost my phone on the first day and had to write “lost iPHONE 4S, cat case,” and then I found it later and Ari took a picture of me with the marker board.
“If I could map out the timeline of my life, I would never get my dick sucked by someone who doesn’t like Drake.”
It’s going to be an adventure. A sweaty, sweaty adventure.
You will *not* enter your credit card information for that free trial.
But you somehow have…no chapsticks?
What you tell your mom: “Can’t complain!”
What you’re really thinking: “Do you have 20 minutes for me to complain?”
Sorry this post exists, but BITCH. BETTER. HAVE —
“Few things I’d rather see less.”
But what if you’re just looking for a night of passion? Well don’t worry, I’ve got you covered too. Happy Humping!