Everything is more expensive and packaged together. I don’t want a seven course pre-fixed meal. I just want pizza.
Pop a bottle of champagne and say cheers to your wonderful single self.
“Well, here’s my advice: have a little faith, and if that doesn’t work, a lot of mimosas.”
If Amazon offered pap smears, I would be the first woman uploading pictures of my vagina and sending my genetic material in a pre-printed tube and box for analysis. If you could buy a car through Amazon with as much ease, I would happily buy my next car through Amazon.
Puking, as much as you miss it, is few and far between these days. You left the glamour of hangovers behind with your 20s, bless.
Why cook tacos without salsa dancing in the kitchen while listening to Mariachi? Anytime I make spaghetti you can bet I’m prancing around my kitchen singing Mambo Italiano.
Life may be plastic, but it’s not always fantastic.
I wonder if anyone has actually responded to any of this hilariously bogus ads??
My loins trembled as the scent of toupee adhesive and spray tan swept through my nasal cavity. I wanted nothing more than to turn around and see the golden god behind these scents, but I couldn’t move.
Now here’s the secret, it’s not about losing weight. That’s the hat. Everyone can wear a hat. I bet you’ve done it. The trick is keeping it off; that’s the rabbit.