If you’ve booked your trip with any of the eight following types of people, you will need a serious escape plan. Now.
If you’re gonna love Marilyn Monroe, you’ve gotta love Lindsay Lohan.
After working with Tom Cruise, a Hollywood dialect coach (whose name I won’t reveal) once described him to me as being “emotionally frozen in time” at the age he was catapulted to stardom — around 21. Is that what happens to all these young mortals who are inflated to god-like status?
I’m not sure we can actually CALL this singing. Legally.
Sometimes I worry about my generation. Scratch that, sometimes I worry about myself.
“Oh my god,” she squealed in recognition. “Ha, I went to one of her shows in middle school or something. I remember, I even got her autograph afterwards.”
1. Oh my god, mom, it’s a built-in wedge.
2. Kick out the camera crew constantly.
If not, maybe Lynette Scavo’s neighbor Susan Mayer could star in American Horror Story: Teri Hatcher’s Face.
11. You pee rainbows.