What else can I eat to help me temporarily forget where I am?
Notice how we only feel we are doing “something” when that “something” can be externally measured… by other people?
It’s the war that’s been fought since the beginning of time. It’s the most socially divisive split on the planet. It’s ended marriages and estranged family members. The one question that could define us all is: whether you’re a dog person or a cat person.
If I have any trust issues, it’s thanks to the Mariners, Sonics and Seahawks. (Sorry, The Sounders and Storm, but honestly, caring enough about you to be hurt is a little much for me.)
“E-readers” are not a discussion topic we’re interested in.
Okay, numbers one through five? The Onion. Jk, jk. That’d be like recommending Migos and/or the Beatles: tired and unnecessary. True greatness speaks for itself.
When you remember that Avril Lavigne married the guy from Nickleback.
Women always whisper the word “fat.”
“You fell off the face of the Earth!” is not a thing anybody wants to hear.