Thought Catalog

Klonopin

The first night I arrive absolutely terrified. They tell me I can smoke a cigarette in the outdoor cage. I see faces cloaked in darkness, intermittently lit by fireworks. It’s the fourth of July.

Have healthy amounts of sex. Treat it like it’s a vitamin. Have you taken yours today? It’s essential that you feel desired and connected to another person. Have sex with someone on a Tuesday and watch it tide you over for the next few weeks.

When we’re done finishing off our Klonopin rigatoni dish (imported from Italy and a pharmacy) we’re going to play a game called, “Obsessed With Being Depressed.” The rules go like this: Everyone goes around and talks about how sad they are and then people will try to one up their depression with an even sadder story.