They shared the same heart, the same torso, the same ass, the same penis. What they didn’t share were any opinions. They couldn’t even toast a slice of bread without a vicious political argument breaking out.
“My girlfriend handles the bugs in the house. I simply scream.”
My big concern was that going on a cruise would be like going to Vegas, except on water instead of in a desert.
“Anyone can be a millionaire, but to become a billionaire you need an astrologer.” —J. P. Morgan
“I’ve been worried that it’s actually… that I went too far.” 🐍🐍🐍
Katy Perry got sprayed with silly string.
Which is your favorite selfie?
10. Fearing that your sole purpose in life will be to help someone scoop up their dog poop
If you had to describe your dating life through a top 40s countdown, this would be it.
What started as a degrading term for nice old ladies who love their cats has now become a proud identity for women across the world.