“Well you don’t look handicapped.”
17. You use a lot of sex positions.
Isn’t it annoying that everyone in the world hasn’t fallen in love with you yet? Let’s fix that. You judge yourself by your intentions Inside your head, you know exactly what you’re trying to do, at all times.
I hate hipsters and their overbearing, tiresome ways. Or at least, I really used to. Let me explain.
Have your cake, eat it, and don’t worry about anyone else’s cake.
10. Why did you apply wax to my left upper thigh yesterday?
It’s easy to be critical of someone who makes no bones about wanting a life partner. In reality though, falling in love is one of the bravest things you can do. I give props to anyone who prioritizes it.
Our brains reward us for this close-mindedness to ensure evolutionary survival: If you want to survive don’t cross your tribe, trust your team, hate the other team.
One of the biggest disappointments in my life thus far has been finding out how little this is true. In the grand scheme of things, no one really cares what I listen to.
When I have nasty acne, I tell myself that the people that love me would rather have me around than not have me around because I’m hiding out over a pimple.