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iPhone

Todd’s filthy little tale has been read over a billion times online — yes a billion. She’s signed a six-figure book deal with Simon & Schuster, created an entire line of jewelry centered around the series, and recently sold the rights to a film version to Paramount. Not too shabby for a girl writing sex scenes about her favorite band member on her iPhone.

Qualifications for this analysis: I am a brat. 1. You buy those Cokes with names on them. 2. Your cardigans are color-coordinated to the seasons. 3. You live in Jersey. 4. You chose to live in Jersey. 5.

A picture may be worth a thousand words, but when it comes to the dick pic, I’ll take the thousands words any day of the week.

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