“I like to live in my head because it’s awesome in here.”
Before date one, you have to ask yourself a critical question: Will pictures of you and your hypothetical new lover be a hit on Instagram? If the answer is no, how can he possibly be the one?
“I had sex with two different guys an hour apart. When the 2nd guy when down on me, he said that I tasted like a condom.”
Pray hardest when it is hardest to pray.
Amazingly graphic photos from a female mortician’s Instagram account. NSFL.
Prayer changes everything. Seriously!
“Great people do things before they’re ready.” —Amy Poehler
“Sorry I got drunk and said and did everything I wanted to say and do.”
“Janae, would you be my chick to prom?”
“A good place to put inspirational quotes is up your ass.”