It was silent, and I never saw it coming until the waves came crashing without any hint of halt. It was like a blank canvass splashed with colors for the very first time after it has been ignored by the painter for years.
You find yourself having FOMO constantly. Even though you say no a lot and you don’t get out much, when you see yourfriends enjoying time together, you are filled up with jealousy and envy.
If he doesn’t chat with you, don’t chat with him.
If he doesn’t talk to you, don’t talk to him.
If he doesn’t care for you, don’t care for him.
If he doesn’t tell you he loves you, don’t tell him you love him.
If he doesn’t really love you then stop loving him.
Bullying is a thing. It has a voice. And there’s a way out of the world of “you’re not good enough” and into the world where you belong.
I think a part of me doesn’t know who I am without you. Without the part of my heart that longs for your warmth. Without the part of me that wants you desperately. Without the part of myself that adores you to no end.
I want someone to love who is going to make me believe in them. Who is going to make me finally breathe a sigh of relief. Who is going to make me not regret looking at them in the first place. Who is not going to make me regret loving them.
Just 2 years ago, it was all the beginning, of a journey that I did not see coming. A journey that showed me how to love again, showed me the beauty of everything, and then ended in finally finding myself.
Healing is f*cking messy, and you’re worthy of its risk — of what’s on the other side of pain, of the ecstasy within life’s ache.
I think about the smile the stranger at the bus stop gave me. I think about how tired I was in the morning when I woke up. I think about my family in a land 4000 miles away in a different time zone who are probably sound asleep.
I can only do the best I can right now and then surrender the results. Once you release the bowling ball, your job is done.