As an advanced beginner who frequently watches porn (amateur and professional) and now understands some of what real sex is, there are a number of logistical questions that I need answered (I’m looking at you Penny Flame).
“There’s good and bad ones, I think. Really tiny ones are weird-looking. I enjoy a hefty avocado-sized sack visually, I suppose.”
The undeniable awkwardness of praying with your friend’s family at dinner.
“I started college this year. I cried in my dorm alone as soon as my parents left.”
Today, I’d like to present some more covers, though these are geared specifically towards driving fear into the souls of homebodies and introverts.
“He shoves his mossy tongue into your mouth and then swirls it around rapidly like a helicopter propeller.”
When you have a crush on someone, you can get… intense.
“I wonder if our children would get my eyes.”
The Bible Verse. Example: “Ephesians 2:8-9”
Translation: “I voted for Bush”
The transplant New Yorker can relate to bouncing around from borough to borough throughout the years, in search of just the right neighborhood. It’s a daunting task that ever-ambitious New Yorkers take in stride. Sometimes things work out right away; other times we’re not so lucky and the process of finding a place to call “home” can be a nightmare. If one thing’s for sure, it’s that New Yorkers love New York and will make it work.