I don’t say hello to the ladies at the front desk when I walk in. I may smile at them when they greet me with, “Hello, Molly!” but I pretty much walk straight to the elevator.
iPod on shuffle and 1 out of every 3 songs is a track from a Dane Cook stand up CD.
The Dependopotamus is a vile creature that can be spotted throughout all branches of the US military.
12. Benadryl is the bomb, and will always be there for you.
You have a “grown-up” personality for things like meeting people’s parents or going on job interviews, and sometimes your voice changes like two whole octaves. You’re like Christian Bale slipping seamlessly into his role as a totally nice, sincere person.
Their hips don’t lie.
I went to see The Menzingers play in Tampa a few weeks ago with some friends. I had a blast.
The United States ranks 23rd in the world for alcohol consumption per capita. This is disconcerting considering we are falling behind in education and health care, along with the fact that the dollar is down
18. He got his chewing gum stuck in my bush.
Ladies, when you’re with a guy have you ever thought to yourself, “Let’s cut to the chase—how big are you?”