She said she was a pro at handling pain, which made me feel better about putting hot wax on a fragile old lady.
These parents DOMINATE the texting game.
She knows more weird and obscene religious jokes than you do.
Found on AskReddit. 1. Fucked a cucumber while on Vicodin. I fucked a cucumber while on Vicodin. 2. Jerked off with a banana peel. Used a banana skin to fap. It was amazing. 3.
If you’ve ever been in your 20s, or dated someone, or overthought things, or bottled up your feelings, or tried to be cool, or felt ugly, or enjoyed the occasional short story, or been a man, or been a woman, or been not yet a boy or girl, but not yet a man or woman, then you’ll feel right at home in this collection of Christopher Hudspeth’s writings.
“I went to a bar, and hung out with some friends for a while.” ….You watched How I Met Your Mother.
You see their text and you roll your eyes and either forget to respond or send them a text 5 hours later like “omg babe! so sorry! I fell asleep watching Friends (again! lol) Just got this”
They’re always willing to help out.
The kid who: organized M.A.S.H rounds and knew everyone’s crushes, so they set it up so that M.A.S.H was as embarrassing as possible.
Is now the adult who: holds Bachelor viewing parties at their house.
The “YOU WATCHED THAT WITHOUT ME?!?!”