Come join us at the intersection where race, gender, and Starbucks collide.
Do you own one of those silverware separator things?
Give them a no-fail “heyyyyy.” (Tip: The more “y”s you include, the more cool and level-headed you’ll seem.)
Here are a bunch of hilarious ideas that take very little effort, because there is nothing more spooky, scary, and downright horrifying than having to spend more then 20 minutes on anything in 2014.
“Bro, my flow was so heavy today, I had to use three pads.”
1. I promise that when we binge watch shows on Netflix, I won’t skip ahead.
I would love to clone myself and then challenge the clone to a race, or a game of basketball, or rocks-paper-scissors.
Sending vague “Wanna hang out?” texts instead of inviting someone they’re interested in to actual, set plans.
Here is The Benevolent Sociopath’s Guide to Compassion…
“I have no idea who you even are and I hate you.”