Re-watch ‘The 40-Year-Old Virgin’ and start freaking out a bit. What if you’re 40 before you have sex again?!?
You begin to talk to yourself like that overly aggressive football coach who feels that negging their players into submission is doing God’s work.
It can take months or years to ween off of the sugar and creamer. Yet when you do finally get to this stage, taste is no longer of much importance — at least not as much as obtaining coffee.
The Kids are coming back to America.
Plunging necklines + no bras = small boobies paradise.
She’s an excellent storyteller. Seriously. She understands which narration styles work, and which don’t, better than anyone I know. That’s what makes her so dangerous.
I’m not ready to be anything else just yet.
I was so close!
He better not be trying to hold out so he can give me a second orgasm or something.
This fake rejection letter is the funniest thing ever.