“That was two minutes of my life I’ll never get back.”
“My driver showed up wearing a full tuxedo, zero explanation.”
You won’t believe these are real. There are actually a few I actively hope are not.
“Wait. Which way do your bangs flow?”
Can we get some cheese please?? Or at least give that one solitary tomato some kind of company in there.
We watched Comedy Central for our news, and Fox News for some comedy.
Tie him up and tickle him? How do you put a fucking price on that?
1. Eliminate the words “like, I can’t even” from your vocabulary.
As long as you don’t go out of your way to be a complete douche, the bartender will love you.