She told me what they were wearing and how deep they’d have to dig, too.
People continue to go missing around town, and your neighbor has put out the most realistic Halloween decorations you’ve ever seen.
For sale: like-new engagement ring. Barely worn, came right off her finger. Finger also for sale for the right offer.
“I gave the bride her something borrowed. But I didn’t tell her it was from my marriage that didn’t work out…”
“This is probably not only the worst thing I’ve done in my career, it’s also the worst thing I’ve ever done in my life. I (very lightly) spiked one of the kids’ sprites. I just threw in the tiniest bit of vodka, because it’s odorless.”
On the ceiling I noticed a trail of painted glow-in-the-dark arrows. They were very, very faded and looked like they’d been there for quite a while. They led out the door.
“She would steal my clothes, take photos in them, tell people she wanted to be just like me, etc. People often told me in confidence that I was on the verge of having one of those stalker roomies.”
“It was a very old property, and at first, the hauntedness of it all seemed kind of romantic.”
“We got a peanut butter and jelly sandwich out of her vagina.”
There seems to be a lot of poop-related accidents on set.