There were no in-my-head fireworks, like people say there will be. I didn’t walk up to the Admissions Office with my heart skipping a beat. I didn’t have this sudden bubbly feeling in my stomach.
“Bronzer. No foundation. I went through an entire compact of bronzer in a month.”
You fall on literally nothing.
“When I tell them my problems, does it make me feel relieved or more stressed?”
You are more than a face in the mirror, you know. You are more than a body walking the halls of a high school, more than the catty girls and more than the eyeing boys.
Mental illness is not a permissible reason to call someone crazy. I have been fiercely bawling because I couldn’t catch my breath. Your chest locks up and you don’t know what you’re scared of but fear runs through your veins.
People have always said controversial things, gotten out of control at parties, and done things they regret. What’s changed is that today, no matter where you are, the world is always watching.
“Do you really expect Cam to finish all that homework? He has football practice every night! I don’t think you teachers understand that students have lives outside of school.”
When it feels like every single day, you have to push against everything telling you to give up. Emotions are fickle. But you’ve likely changed more than you realize.
Your boobs may not get bigger but who cares? You don’t have to look like her, or her, or her. You are beautiful in your own way, and if you love yourself and walk like you believe you’re beautiful, others will see that beauty too.