I recognize that I can’t keep doing this to myself, it’s surely not good for my health nor is it going to get me any good favors in living longer.
This is all in response to him just saying that he agrees that there wasn’t a spark, and wants to stay friends.
Recovery is scary, confusing and lonely. But recovery is created by you. So here’s to defining a “normal state” in terms which are special to you.
I don’t subscribe to cults of personality or witch hunts — even when there are actual witches.
We sometimes perceive asking for help as a sign of weakness, when it fact it’s the complete opposite. Asking for help is a sign of wanting to improve yourself and being wise enough to know you can’t always do it alone.
The more I told my story to people who haven’t been through this the more I heard, “Well yours isn’t really rape, it wasn’t like you were yanked into a dark alley by a stranger.” That is such a powerful misconception.
Thought Catalog exclusive.
Anxiety doesn’t care about how happy we are or what is going on in our lives. It is always there. No matter what we do, no matter where we are, and no matter who we are with, it can happen at any moment. The fear. The shaking. The images that cross our mind at lightning speed. The panic. The twirling of our hair. The need for more oxygen. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
Success doesn’t come easily. Happiness doesn’t come easily. Loving your life doesn’t happen in a day, or in a year. That’s why life was meant to be a coin toss. To shake you around until you finally find your place. To show you that failure will one day lead you to your destiny. And to show you that hard work, the dirty and exhausting work you are doing right now, will one day be all worth it.
Sometimes love is not enough to keep a relationship together. Do not let this make you become bitter.