As much as possible, I try to look at mental illness as just that – an illness. Not a personality trait. Not a definitive factor. But a health issue that needs to be addressed. A problem that ought to be solved.
I was well-trained in vanity at a young age by a mother constantly on one 90s fad diet or another, and I’ve always been terrified of how my life might change if I were to gain significant weight.
As someone who has suffered from mental illness for a long time, I understand people feeling weary about sharing their feelings with friends and family.
What’s frustrating is your modern diet and eating patterns are probably one of the root causes for these high levels of stress hormones.
Not having the energy to do things I love is frustrating, especially when I know the root cause is my disease.
In the memoirs of recovering addicts, there is a lot of talk about ‘rock bottom’. This magical, mystical place where (while drowning in life’s deepest piss barrel) you’re given a beautiful, simple moment of clarity.
Vanilla is known as a natural sex driver booster. The scent of vanilla can increase lust.
People aren’t worried about your life because they’re too busy worrying about what you’re thinking about their life.
I didn’t want to tell anyone that I was sick because I didn’t want to be treated differently than anyone else. I didn’t want people to avoid talking about cancer because “the cancer girl” was around.
When anxiety is winning, I need alone time. I need to be on my own to relax, breathe, journal and just be by myself. I’ll come back when my heart has stopped feeling like it’s going to burst out of my chest, my hands aren’t shaking and I can breath again.