Your vodka gives the woman everything she’s ever wanted or needed: a ripping, utilitarian buzz allowing her to function at work. She makes $15 an hour selling wallpaper at a paint store. A typical liter of Skyy cost $23.95. That’s just two hours of slinging rolls (after taxes and health insurance).

But none of the people praising my “body goals” body knew how unhealthy I truly was. In the name of health, I almost completely eliminated fat from my diet. I ate copious amounts of green vegetables and berries and very few filling foods. I limited my desserts to small pieces of heart-healthy dark chocolate. I was following all of the rules of being healthy.