Before you came along, I was happy too. And I won’t let you take that away from me.
We can become addicted to the highs and lows of dangerous romantic relationships in a way that makes a break-up from a toxic person similar to rehab from a destructive drug addiction.
You’ve grown secure in your own insecurity. Feeling self-conscious is not a state of mind that magically fades away as we morph into adults. On the contrary, often our twenties are some of the most uncertain, insecure, and hesitant years of our lives. But learning how to accept your sense of discomfort and then continue working hard and chasing after you want anyway is one of the surest signs that you are truly coming into your own.
You are everything and nothing that I would have imagined someone to be. You are lines of numbers when I am but letters strung together that don’t quite make much sense, and yet I want to formulate a sentence in this language you’ve grown so accustomed to.
I had spent my whole life looking for answers. If I could only find the right answer, maybe I would be happy. Maybe my life would work.
In a world filled with long commutes, frustrating relationships, and constant struggles, it can be difficult to stop and really admit just how blessed we are. But the secret to happiness that all happy people already know?
You no longer try to impress others, you just want to impress yourself. You feel happier that you’re not looking for someone’s approval or validation, you’re not waiting for someone to give you a pat on the back for doing things right and you’re not waiting for someone to make you feel like you matter or that you are important.
The best thing I can do in this simple, humble life is try to maintain the integrity in which I live it; teach my children to do the same through my actions more than words, and always keep my mind and heart open to whatever the universe would like to unveil to me.
So we continue living under a disguise of strength and indifference, constantly shutting people out, lying to ourselves, and distracting ourselves to make sure we don’t think about what’s real, making sure we don’t feel what was once felt.
We think a good life means becoming immune to judgment, to harsh words from others, to insecurity, to self-doubt, to shame, to criticism. But really, a good life is about realizing that you’re human. That you’re never truly safe from your fear of being an outsider, a failure, an outcast. And that, while you can never fully avoid these uncomfortable feelings, that you can still keep going, keep doing, and keep creating in spite of them.