Capricorn: You fart in the office. You blame it on the interns.
“I squeeze the goo out of my pierced nipples.”
This is almost exactly as awful as you’re thinking it might be.
“You want to gag when you’re fifty feet away.”
“While on a business trip to Brazil I saw two homeless guys fucking while doing crack in the middle of the sidewalk in a very busy street.”
“I pop my head in to discover a large group of people SHOOTING UP.”
I didn’t go out for Halloween this year. And I won’t be going out ever.
Bracing yourself for the, “Wow what’s the occasion?” comments whenever you actually doll yourself up.
You ask them to check if there are any “bats in the cave.”
“If you are a woman, sleep without undies or PJs. You need to be airing out your Gigi whenever and wherever you can. So says my mom.”